The Right Influence

During a recent coaching session, a client shared with me the uncanny resemblance she noticed between herself and her daughter, a resemblance that extended beyond physical features. This realization led us to discuss the topic of influence, a common theme in coaching. We all possess the ability to influence others and be influenced by them. The crucial question is not whether influence exists, but whether it is right.

The Nature of Influence

The closer you are to someone, both personally and physically, the greater the influence. Interestingly, influence doesn't require conscious intent; you are always exerting influence through your actions, words, and presence. The key is to determine whether your influence is positive or negative. Equally important is recognizing who influences you and how it affects your decision-making, growth, and success.

The Role of Parents

Parents are your first and most influential teachers and guides. Their actions and words profoundly impact your development, shaping your character, values, beliefs, and worldview. Neuroscience suggests that this early influence can affect your thinking for a lifetime if left unexplored.

“Everything that you allow into your life and every action you take reflects who you are.”
~ Tony Robbins

Social Influence

In addition to parents, social influence significantly shapes your life. Others' thoughts, behaviors, and actions affect you, often without your realization. Who you surround yourself with, both personally and professionally, matters greatly because you are likely to adjust your behavior to match those around you. Understanding social influence can help you make conscious decisions about your life and avoid conforming to negative norms.

Positive Influence

The right influence can be life-changing. It can provide useful information for better and faster decision-making, increase motivation, and offer a stronger sense of purpose, ultimately helping you achieve your goals. Recognizing the right influence can help you avoid the pitfalls of negative social influence, such as harmful behaviors, loss of individuality, lack of accountability, and diminished critical thinking.

Determining the Right Influence

R-eflection

Reflect and recognize where past influence may be holding you back. Let go of what isn’t working and be open to creating something new.

I-ndividuality

Be aware of who you choose to be and hold yourself accountable for your decisions and actions to ensure ultimate trust in yourself.

G-rowth

Commit to seeking improvements for yourself and ensure your standards, environment, and circle consistently support your growth, which is vital for success.

H-igh Quality

Surround yourself with inspiring, understanding, and supportive people who make a positive difference in your life.

T-ime

What you spend the most time doing significantly influences you and your choices. What you read, watch, and experience affects your daily decision-making and can have long-term effects.

Conclusion

Influence is always at play, and understanding its power can guide you toward achieving your goals and living a purposeful and creative life. As the person responsible for your own success, consider who you spend your time with, what you spend your time doing, and remember that your influence is equally powerful on those around you.

Take this quiz to see how you score on your influence knowledge:
Johah Berger Influence Quiz